If I asked you what doubts, fears, insecurities, and anxieties your husband struggles with, could you tell me?
I fear that, as wives, we can often forget that our husbands aren’t exempt to these things.
But that is precisely what our spouses need us to remember. And it’s also, part of being a kind woman…
Characteristic-A Wife Who is Kind
You know how a couple of weeks ago, we looked at the verse where God tells us to be “kind to one another, tenderhearted…” (Ephesians 4:32)?
Well, today we’ll be focusing on what a wife with a tender heart looks like.
According to Oxford Dictionaries, tender can be defined as “showing gentleness and concern or sympathy“.
So a tender heart would be one that shows gentleness, concern and sympathy towards others (and specifically–our husbands).
As I was reading the definition of tender, I found it interesting what adjectives were the opposite of it.
Oxford Dictionaries gives these as some antonyms: tough, hard-hearted, callous.
But, wait a minute…isn’t tough what the world tells us that we, as women, must be?
Some phrases that come to mind are: “You gotta look out for yourself. If you don’t do it, nobody will.” “Life is tough, but you are tougher.” or what about this quote “Always look out for yourself and feel free to throw your business partners under the bus.” ?
These are not the words or thoughts of a woman who is truly tender hearted.
And this is not the class of women that God calls us to be.
He calls us to be tender towards the sufferings of those around us–especially our husbands.
God calls us to be women who are…
Tender, not tough. Sensitive not cynical. Caring, not callous.
Women who are Kind.
Practical Way to Show Love
Be sensitive to the concerns, doubts, problems and even anxieties that are in the heart of your husband.
They are human, and also are prone to suffering. But, in general, they are more quiet about their pain than women.
So we may simply need to ask what they are battling with in this moment.
Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad. Proverbs 12:25
Be tender to any anxieties that your husband may have and give him words of encouragement.
Words of love that give him courage!
As wives, we need to ask God to help sharpen our senses to be aware of when our husbands are struggling with something because more often than not, they won’t immediately share it with us.
It’s not always the case, but callous reactions on our behalf could make them reluctant to share. Here are some ways to know:
Phrases that Indicate a Tough-heart
If when your husband shares a problem with you, and you’ve thought or said any of the below, it’s a warning sign that you need to repent of your lack of tenderness towards your husband and ask God to give you a heart like His.
- “He got himself into this situation.”
- “It’s his own fault. He should’ve know better. He got what he deserved.”
- “You should’ve listen to me. I told you so!”
- “Really?! You’re worried about that?”
When we have our hearts opened in such a way that it is receptive to anxieties in our spouses, then we can know when and what is that “good word” that our husband need to hear.
“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Proverbs 25:11 (NKJV)
The right word spoken at the right time is….BEAUTIFUL!
Personally, I wonder how many times my husband has been in need of a “good word” from me and I was simply too busy with the task at hand to notice…
Only the Lord knows…But what I do know is that he is human as I am and he lives in the same difficult world as I do and he needs encouragement and that God has placed me to be his helper.
As it is written, “Two are better than one…for if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9
Let’s not allow the shouts of the world to drown out the voice of the Lord.
Be a woman who is tenderhearted.
Change things up a little. Take your lunch (or dinner) to the patio. You can go as casual or fancy as you wish. Paper plates or fine china. Sandwiches and chips or a 3 course meal. Whatever you choose-just don’t make it stressful. This is a time to relax and enjoy with your husband!
For date ideas, check out my article: 25 Free, Quarantine-Approved Date Night Ideas.
Thank God for him. If your husband does not yet have a personal relationship with the Lord, pray that he would turn his life over to God.
Pray that your husband would find the strength and courage that comes only from the Lord and His Word.
Joshua 1:8-9 “This Book of the Law [God’s Word] shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”
Our husbands are in need of courage for all the tiring, dismaying, disappointing heartbreaking moments that this world tends to bring.
God has given us the gift of being able to make our men more courageous by speaking words of life and truth that will remind them that no matter what comes their way, if they follow God, nothing is impossible.
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52 Weeks of Multiplying Love in Your Marriage Challenge Week #1