I’m so glad that you’ve joined me on this journey.
Each week, when I sit down at my computer to write the week’s challenge, I always start with the idea of the article being shorter than the last…So far, that has happened exactly 0 times…
I guess I don’t really realize how deep reaching the topic is until I begin writing…
Oh well…on to week #7… 🙂
Characteristic- A Wife Who is Kind
“Love is patient and is KIND…” (1 Corinthians 13:4, ESV, emphasis added)
“…On her tongue is the law of KINDNESS.” (Proverbs 31:26, NKJV, emphasis added)
“…giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brother KINDNESS, and to brotherly KINDNESS love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins.” (2 Peter 1:5, NKJV, emphasis added)
Practical Way to Show Love
NEVER speak badly of your husband to others. Instead, speak kind words to and about your husband in front of him and others.
Why does this matter?
Because we have an enemy whose main desire is to destroy every good thing that God has created–and that includes marriage.
This enemy, Satan, comes only to “steal, and to kill, and to destroy.” But Jesus said that He came so every person “May have life and that they may have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10, NKJV)
And that means every area of our lives.
So in short: the devil desires to kill our love for our husbands and destroy our commitment to them, but Jesus wants to inject life into our marriages so that love abounds more and more.
From the very beginning, Satan has sought to make it seem that the good is bad and what is bad is actually good. That is one of the main ways he deceives us and convinces us to sin.
Nothing has changed, his tactics are the same.
And that is why we so sadly hear about ever-increasing divorces and cases of infidelity.
You see, the enemy always incites us to see our husbands’ faults, failures and shortcomings. Because when we focus on those things, we are no longer thinking about what is good in them.
We forget why we love them; why we chose to unite our lives with theirs. We only see their mistakes and that can lead to desire something “better”.
People don’t cheat on their spouses because they think their spouses are the most amazing people ever. They commit adultery because they believe they’ve found something better-more appealing.
In Genesis 4, God warned Cain that
“sin is crouching at the door. It’s desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.” (Genesis 4:8b, ESV)
As wives, we must intentionally seek to close all “doors” where sin is waiting. If we open it even a crack…sin will find it’s way into our lives.
One way we can keep sin from entering our marriage is to refrain from ever speaking badly about our husbands.
When the temptation arises to “vent” to friends or family here are a few questions to ask ourselves before we open our mouths:
- How does speaking poorly of my husband help strengthen our marriage?
- Is it possible that pointing out his shortcomings and sins to others will build the love in my heart toward him?
- Am I pleasing God by doing this or am I opening the door to sin and Satan?
Even though this is a temptation for each one of us, we must and can “rule over it” in the strength that comes from Christ alone. “The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil.” (1 John 3:8b, ESV)
Don’t allow him to have your marriage.
Don’t allow him to convince you that “the fruit” that God has forbidden is exactly what will satisfy you.
Instead, turn to God and take hold of His help that He provides in His Word and through His Holy Spirit.
A verse that I’ve used frequently throughout this challenge is one that I believe would be very useful to memorize–Philippians 4:8
“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy–meditate on these things.”
God has shown me throughout these past weeks, the importance this verse has on me and my marriage.
If I see no good in my husband, the enemy will begin to highlight good in other men and will tempt me to compare my husband with them–that is the sin that is crouching at every wife’s door. And that is why we must do all that is possible to keep that “door” shut.
If you find that you have unforgiveness or a root of bitterness in your heart from past hurts, I encourage you to check out Week #4 because I talk about that very thing.
Tips if you’re finding it hard to “See the Good”.
#1 Pray and ask God to remove any root of bitterness.
#2 Get out a notebook and write down Philippians 4:8. Pray and ask God to help you remember and see the good in your husband. Write down why you married him. Write down those things that you have seen throughout the years (big and small) that are: true, noble, just, pure, lovely, good report, virtue and praiseworthy.
I like the way NIV translates part of the great love passage: 1 Corinthians 13:5
[Love] does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (emphasis added)
So, instead of keeping a record of wrongs against your husband, keep a record of what is worthy of praise.
NOTE: As I’ve mentioned before, if your husband is abusive and the physical integrity of you or your children is at risk, you need to share with this with the authorities that God has put in place to protect you. It is wise to open your mouth about these wrongdoings. Doing this is not gossiping, it is seeking much needed help.
Date Night Idea
‘Be a Kid Again’ Date
In Mexico, they celebrate “Kids’ Day”. So at our church we always (at least in past years) have a celebration in the park and I think that the adults have more fun than the kids. We jump rope, take swings at the piñata, play tug-o-war and just have a good ‘ole time. Try it, you might be surprised at how much fun you will have. Sometimes it’s okay, and even good, to act like a child! (For more date ideas, check out my 25, Free Quarantine-Approved Date Ideas)
Give thanks for your husband always. Pray that his heart, as well as your own, would be found faithful before Him. (Nehemiah 9:7-8)
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52 Weeks of Multiplying Love in Your Marriage-Love Your Husband More Challenge