Are you ready for week #2?
Last week, I kept it fairly simple-Start small.
We don’t have to suddenly transform into the perfect wife overnight-that’s impossible.
The point is to start. Then continue. And through sincere prayer and a heart focused on God’s guiding Word get ever closer to the goal.
And what is the goal?
That’s an important thing to ask because motivation is key. What is our reasoning for wanting to multiply the love in our marriages? To have a happier home? A more peaceful environment for our children? More Instagram-Worthy posts?
Or to simply check something off of a list to make us feel like we are being a “good wife”?
If any of these are our main goal, we are settling for something way too small when God gives us the opportunity of taking part in something much grandeur than ourselves-a purpose that can transform the hearts of others and have a lasting impact not just in this moment and this generation, but for all of eternity.
And why would we ever want to pass up such a honor?
As I wrote last week, “the purpose is to beautify ourselves as we conform more to the image of Christ, allow God to strengthen our families and, ultimately, to put on display the hope and beauty of the gospel in a dark world…’to adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things…'” (Check out the 1st article to learn more.)
God has given us the privilege of being honorable, wise women who encourage their husbands and fulfill the calling to which they were called.
Characteristic-A Wife that Encourages
I’ve been reading a book, Being Good to Your Husband on Purpose by Becky Hunter. I love how she points out that God’s solution to the problem of man being alone, was to create a helper suitable for him, to create woman.
This shows that God created us women purposefully and with intention. The Bible says that “He who finds a wife, finds a good thing.” (Proverbs 18:22) and that “a prudent (wise) wife is from the Lord.” (Proverbs 19:14b)
In her book, Becky Hunter mentions how her thinking was transformed when she realized that she was a gift from God to her husband. It made her feel special and she wanted to be a good gift to him.
It’s like Proverbs 14:1,
“The wise woman builds up her home but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.”
Bing defines build up as: Promote or support someone OR make a person or something stronger.
We are either wives who support and make stronger the one at our side, or we tear them down.
That is where Encouragement comes in.
Besides, why wouldn’t we want to do good to our husbands…to the one that we vowed to love ’til death do us part?
Practical Way to Encourage
Did you put on those rose-colored glasses last week? Great! Keep them on, because everything looks better that way anyway.
Last week was a simple start: send a text letting him know what you respect about him.
This week is where it begins to get a little more challenging. But I know you’re up for it! And besides with God promising to help if we seek Him, what more could we ask for?!
Instead of just 1 text for the week,
Tell your husband 1 thing each day that you genuinely love about him. (One of the “Whatevers” from Philippians 4:8) AND refrain from complaining.
Now, you don’t have to stop at 1, that’s just the goal for this week. If you desire to encourage him more, by all means go for it!
Now’s here’s the key ladies: If we are telling him something we respect about him and then following it up later that day with 3 complaints…well, he will probably be more beat down than built up by the end of the day.
According to God, that is what we sound like when we complain, nag or are contentious.
“…the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping.” Proverbs 19:13
We had a leaky faucet in the master bath a few years ago. The funny thing about it is that I hardly noticed the sound at first, but little by little it seem to get louder and louder until it was all that I heard. I shut the bathroom door until it was fixed, but still it made it hard to sleep. Some nights I just wanted to sleep in the other room to get away from the annoying sound.
But it was a great, real-life illustration of that verse and what I’m like when I “remind” my husband of something over and over.
An annoying leaking faucet.
God goes on to say,
“Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” Proverbs 21:9
Ouch!.. And finally it’s
“Better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman.” Proverbs 21:19
This is the pattern that will result if we are contentious women.
It’s not just about what we DO, but what we DO NOT DO as well.
Who we ARE.
We, as wives, set the tone in our homes and the environment we create can unify or make our husbands want to run for the hills–literally.
We can make them so uncomfortable that they’d prefer to live in the wide open wilderness, being exposed to all the elements and the dangers of wild animals than to share a home with us.
Praise God that He warns us of what could happen, so that, with His help, we can avoid that situation by creating an atmosphere of love and encouragement–A home that is truly a haven in the midst of a chaotic, discouraging world.
Date of the Week
Go Fishing OR some activity that he enjoys (even if you don’t!).
My husband enjoys fishing, but I personally do not. He also enjoys basketball and sometimes watches basketball games.
Again, not really my thing.
But this is not about us, it’s about showing love to them. And that we love them, fishing and all!
If you can identify about the “not so common-shared” interest between you and your hubby let me know about it in the comments!
“I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy…And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.” (Philippians 1:3-4, 9-11)
There is no perfect husband, because there is no perfect human-God makes that very clear.
God never calls us to “fix” our husbands. We are called to love, respect and pray for them.
So let’s leave the “fixing” to Jesus.
When the temptation arises (and it will) to complain, nag or “remind” your husband of something, remain silent and take it to God in prayer.
May God bless you and your marriage greatly!
**NOTE: (If you are in an abusive relationship and the physical integrity of you or your children is at risk, I am not advising that you remain in a dangerous situation. Yes, pray. But God has put authorities in place for your protection. This is part of His provision. In Romans 13, the governing authorities are referred to as “God’s minister to you for good.” Seek help and seek protection. Please do not risk your life or the lives of others.)