Characteristic-A Wife who is Kind
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32
Practical Way to Love Your Husband
We can love our husbands more by extending kindness to his family.
Showing respect, kindness, consideration and love to our in-laws not only honors them, but our husbands as well.
If someone talks bad about our families (no matter who that person may be), we often see it as an attack on those we love.
It is no different with our husbands. So if we behave in a rude, conflictive or argumentative way with his parents, it is if we are attacking our own husbands.
Same goes for complaining to our spouses about things his family does that are wrong. There is nothing honorable about pointing out the weaknesses and faults of others.
I know that there will be moments when we don’t see eye to eye with our in-laws. After all, we come from different family backgrounds and educations. So what are we to do in those times?
Even in those moments, the Lord calls us to love. To esteem others more highly than ourselves (Philippians 2:3-8) and to not be wise in our own opinion (Romans 12:16).
But what are we to do if our in-laws treat us like an enemy?
God tells us,
“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse…Do not be wise in your own opinion. Repay no one evil for evil…If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, ” says the Lord…Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:14,16-19, 20 , NKJV)
God is a good Judge and He is not oblivious to wrongdoing. Entrust your hurts to Him. He is more than sufficient to work all things according to the good of those who love Him.
Just a quick review of the previous weeks to provide inspiration on how to strengthen the Bonds between you and his family:
#1. Put on the rose-colored glasses and see your in-laws in a good light (instead of focusing on their faults).
“whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy–meditate on these things.” Philippians 4:8
#2. Refrain from talking about the weaknesses of his family and instead tell them this week 1 thing that you appreciate about them.
“…the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping.” Proverbs 19:13
“Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” Proverbs 21:9
“Better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman.” Proverbs 21:19
#3. When your in-laws tell you something–BE QUICK TO HEAR. Be an interested, sincere, active listener.
When they are taking the time to share something with you, that means it’s important to them, even if you don’t consider it to be.
If necessary, ask God to help you to have a sincere interest in the conversation.
#4. Ask God to help you identify and remove any roots of bitterness that are in your heart and forgive his family of any wrongs they have committed against you.
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32
5. Say ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you’.
Being kind to your husband’s family may take time, especially if there have been mutual hurts in the past. But the past doesn’t have to define the future. You have the opportunity to heal wounds and strengthen relationships in your family.
If kindness hasn’t defined the relationship between you and his family, it may feel awkward at first and you might even get a few odd looks as to the change of your behavior. But don’t get discouraged, instead let it motivate you because that means they’re seeing something different in you. And if they happen to ask why the change, be honest and simply tell them you want to be the daughter-in-law God calls you to be and love them better.
And it won’t go unnoticed to your husband, even if he doesn’t say anything.
We can see that from the life of Ruth. In the 4-chapter long book that bears her name, God records the story of this brave, selfless and kind woman. I encourage you to read about her life in the Bible this week.
She was a young widow in great need and is a wonderful example of how to honor and show kindness to your in-laws. The love and support Ruth showed toward her mother-in-law Naomi was genuine and uncommon. So much so that people in the community were talking about it until word spread to a man named Boaz.
Ruth had no money so she was gathering from his fields the grain that the workers left behind. Boaz showed great favor to Ruth, which surprised her. So she asked,
“Why have I found favor in your eyes, that you should take notice of me, since I am a foreigner? Boaz answered and said to her, ” It has been fully reported to me, all that you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband, and how you have left your father and your mother and the land of your birth, and have come to a people whom you did not know before. The LORD repay your work, and a full reward be given you by the LORD God of Israel, under whose wings you have come for refuge.” (Ruth 2:10-12)
And the LORD did repay her for her work.
“So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife; and when he went in to her, the LORD gave her conception, and she bore a son.” (Ruth 4:13)
She also was privileged to be the grandmother of King David and included in the genealogy of Jesus Christ.
Our Gracious God gave her a godly, gentle, considerate and honorable husband in Boaz. And it was the LORD who helped her conceive and be part of the lineage of the only One that can save us from our sins and grant entrance into heaven–Jesus Christ.
Ladies, we can never know how the Lord can use our kindness. I’m sure that Ruth, as she was gleaning Boaz’s fields, just so that she and Naomi could have something for dinner, never dreamed of what her future would hold.
But she was faithful, nonetheless.
And that’s all God calls us to be.
We are not responsible for how others choose to live, we are only responsible for our decisions. Every single person will stand before the Lord one day and will have to give an account as to how she or he chose to live.
Let’s live in a way that glorifies Him, builds up others and multiplies love in our family. Not in order to earn God’s love or entrance into Heaven because as Jesus said, “No one comes to the Father except through Me.” (John 14:6).
Take heart, friend. If you have recognized the Kindness of God that leads to repentance and have turned from your sins and entrusted your life to Christ, God is with you every step of the way.
And if you haven’t placed your faith in God, His arms are open wide. “…if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved…For the Scripture says, ‘Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.’…For whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved.” (Romans 10:9,11,13)
Date for the Week
Bring out the Old Photos
This can also help you see your husband’s family in a new light. (Remember to put on those rose-colored glasses!)
Make (or Buy) some cookies, put on coffee and hot tea and start reminiscing of times gone by. Try my Cinnamon & Ginger Tea Recipe and here’s a one-bowl absolutely delicious vegan chocolate chip cookie recipe by Pick Up Limes. I just recently discovered it and we are eating it waaay too much!
For more date ideas, check out my 25 Free, Quarantine-Approved Date Ideas for You and Your Husband.
Prayer
Pray that the Healer of hearts would bind up any past wounds in your husband heart.
“He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
If you enjoyed this article, please give it a like below, subscribe and join the challenge here: 52 Weeks of Multiplying Love in Your Marriage Challenge
Let everyone know how YOU show love to your husband’s family in the comment section.
May we be women who are multipliers–beginning in our own homes!
Blessings!
Titus 2 in a “TextMe” World 