Multiplying Love in our Marriages–Week #4

Well ladies it’s a new month so starting this week, we’ll be looking at (and with God’s help, living out) a new characteristic of a godly wife.

Characteristic– A Wife who is Kind

Included in the portrait of a wise woman, are the type of words that flow from her mouth:

“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.” Proverbs 31:26

Oxford Languages define kind as “having or showing a friendly, generous, and considerate nature.”

“It originates from Old English gecynde; in Middle English the earliest sense is ‘well born or well bred,’…’well disposed by nature, courteous, gentle, benevolent.’ ” (Oxford Languages)

So according to these definitions, God is calling us to have a friendly, generous, considerate nature; have a good disposition, be courteous, be gentle and benevolent to our husbands.

But here’s the thing–we may genuinely desire to be kind to our husbands, but the fact is  it will be impossible if we are guarding unforgiveness in our hearts.

We all know that as humans we sin.  Intentionally or unintentionally everyone hurts everyone else.  It’s a simple fact.

Only God is perfect.

Even though we may have this knowledge in our heads, sometimes our hearts deceive us into holding a grudge or a record of wrongs that our husbands have committed against us in the past, instead of forgiving them as Christ forgives.

One indicator that we may have a root of bitterness in our hearts towards our husbands is if we recall to mind his past faults.

And, according to Hebrews 12:15, a root of bitterness will spring up and cause trouble.

Even though you may think there’s no unforgiveness in your heart, it’s best to ask God.  Why?

“The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked; Who can know it?  I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings.”—Jeremiah 17:9-10

The Lord is the only One who TRULY knows what is in the very depths of our hearts.

Ask Him.  He will show you.  And He will help you heal by giving you the strength to let go of the hurt and leave it in His hands.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

Practical Way to Show Love

After any roots of bitterness are identified and you have forgiven your husband, you will be free to practice being kind to him.

This week’s challenge is nothing new you haven’t already heard.  In fact, I suspect you heard it when you were little from you parents many times.

Always say “Please” and “Thank You”.

Maybe you’re thinking, Say Please and Thank you is the challenge?

Yes, because I’ve noticed that the ones we are most comfortable with (our husbands and other family members) are sometimes not given the same courtesy that we pour out on strangers.

At the dinner table, it can be all to easy to omit please and thank you and simply say, “Pass me the rolls.”

How ’bout, instead of asking him to take the garbage out, “The trash bag was full and needs to be taken out.  I sat it in the garage for you.”

Or what about when he takes the garbage outside, do we greet him with a hearty, “Thank You!”  when he comes back in the house or do we think–that’s his responsibility.  I cooked, he can take out the trash.

These previous comments can all be said in a nice tone, but it’s still lacking something–common courtesy–please and thank you.

When I  began to really examine the daily communication that happens in our home, I was surprised at how laxed I had been in the simplest ways of showing kindness.

And I’ve noticed that we are not an exception, the ones that should be shown the most kindness to are sometimes the last to receive it.

This again is something that has to be intentional in order to live out.

Date of the Week

Game Night.

Get out those games you love and have a fun, relaxing time with your husband.

This can also be a challenge because I’ve found that when we’re relaxed, so are our manners.

For more date ideas, check out my article: 25 Free, Quarantine-Approved Dates.

Prayer

“Now may the God of peace, who brought up our Lord Jesus from the dead, that great Shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, make you complete in every good work to do His will, working in you what is well pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever.  Amen”  Hebrews 13:20-21

Pray that God will make him complete in every good work to do His will, working in him what is well pleasing in His sight through Jesus Christ.

Many Blessings!   And may the love in your marriage be multiplied greatly!